Question:
“My girlfirend and I talk about things and at times she leaves out plans without telling me. how to fix that problem?”
Answer:
I need to start out by saying that your girlfriend’s behaviors aren’t a problem that you need to fix. You either love who she is and let her bloom, or you walk away and leave her for someone who will. If you are trying to “fix” who she is, then you will only end up hurting her and having her mistrust you. If you cannot accept who she is, you need to ask yourself who it is that you are in love with. Are you in love with her? Or are you in love with the kind of woman that you think that she should be?
One of the main mistakes that a man makes in a relationship with a woman is that he simply does not accept who SHE is, with all of her intensity and emotion, and so he attempts to reduce her or “box” her into a specific role. In addition to that, due to the fact that feminine people communicate completely differently than masculine people do, many men feel that their partner “lies” or that she is being “dishonest” because what she says in one moment may be different than what she says in the next, or the way she acts is different than the words that are coming out of her mouth. But this fundamental difference in communication crops up as a result of the fact that feminine people, more often than not, communicate about and operate through how they feel in the moment whereas masculine people tend to communicate and operate in a more linear and logical way.
That said, it sounds to me like you are concerned that your partner doesn’t include you in her plans when you would like her to do so. The easiest solution for this is to simply be honest and communicate with her about how you FEEL about it and tell her that you wish to be involved in her plans and that you want her to communicate them to you.
But don’t do it to fix what you perceive as a problem or to give her an ultimatum, do it to simply to be honest and communicate your needs and desires. If, after you have done that, she still doesn’t involve you in her plans? Then you need to re-evaluate your relationship with her and decide if you can accept it and love her for it or not. If you can’t, then you leave her, you do not try to change her.
In the end, as a masculine being, instead of looking at your partner’s behaviors as a problem you should fix, you should be looking at them as an opportunity for growth. You should be asking yourself, “Why does this bother me?” Is it simply because you are feeling left out? Is it because you believe that she should include you in all of her plans since you are in a relationship? Is it a deal breaker for you?
Obviously it’s enough of a concern that you have asked the question here, and if it truly IS a deal breaker for you, then she needs to know that it is. Simply be honest, and let her know how you feel about it. In the end it’s up to her to include you in her plans because she loves you, not because you are making her.
